The Pitfalls of Founding with Family
One of the most common challenges in family-founded startups is the difficulty of separating personal dynamics from professional decisions.
One of the most common challenges in family-founded startups is the difficulty of separating personal dynamics from professional decisions. A particularly illustrative example involves a husband-and-wife co-founding team, whose weekend discussions created mistrust and confusion among their team, ultimately undermining their startup’s culture and progress.
The Scenario: Mixed Signals and Mistrust
The husband-and-wife founders held a team meeting on Friday afternoon to align everyone on the direction for the following week. Together with their team, they outlined the company’s priorities and set a clear plan: the entire organization was to focus on “Project A,” which would be the core initiative for the next few weeks.
However, over the weekend, the couple continued discussing the company’s strategy at home. By Sunday night, they had changed their minds. On Monday morning, when the team arrived at work, they were blindsided to discover that the plan had completely shifted. Instead of pursuing “Project A,” the founders had decided to focus on “Project B”—an entirely different direction.
The Consequences
1. Confusion and Whiplash
• The team had spent their weekend mentally preparing for “Project A,” only to find out Monday morning that it was no longer the focus. This kind of abrupt change left employees scrambling to adjust their plans and priorities.
2. Erosion of Trust
• The founders’ private decision-making process created a sense of exclusion among the team. Employees felt undermined, as if their input in the Friday meeting was meaningless. This eroded trust, making it harder for the team to feel confident in future decisions.
3. Cultural Misalignment
• The lack of transparency and consistency set a poor precedent for company culture. Employees began to feel that the organization lacked clear leadership and direction, making it harder to foster collaboration or retain top talent.
4. Operational Inefficiency
• Shifting priorities at the last minute wasted valuable time and resources. Employees had already begun planning and organizing around “Project A,” only to have to undo that work and start over with “Project B.”
Why This Happens in Family-Founded Teams
The example highlights a common challenge in family-founded startups: the blurring of personal and professional boundaries. For family co-founders, work discussions don’t end at the office—they often continue at home, where other team members aren’t present to contribute. This creates a dynamic where decisions are made in a vacuum, leaving the rest of the team out of the loop.
The Unique Dynamics of Family Co-Founding
1. Constant Access
• Family members often have more opportunities to discuss the business outside of work hours, creating an imbalance in decision-making authority.
2. Implicit Bias
• Family co-founders may unintentionally prioritize their shared opinions over the input of other team members, leading to frustration and disengagement.
3. Unclear Boundaries
• Employees may feel that family co-founders have an “inner circle” that they can’t penetrate, leading to a perception of favoritism or exclusivity.
4. Frequent Revisions
• Because family members can easily revisit discussions outside of the workplace, decisions are more likely to be revisited and revised, creating inconsistency and confusion.
How to Mitigate These Challenges
If you’ve already co-founded with a family member, or you’re considering it, there are strategies you can implement to prevent scenarios like the one described above.
1. Establish Clear Decision-Making Protocols
Set ground rules for how and when decisions are made. For example:
• Major decisions should be made in team meetings, with all stakeholders present.
• Weekend or off-hours discussions between family members should not override decisions made during formal team meetings.
2. Adopt a Transparent Communication Policy
• Ensure that any changes in direction are communicated to the entire team as soon as possible, along with the reasoning behind the shift.
• Use written updates, such as email summaries or Slack messages, to document key decisions and avoid confusion.
3. Define Professional Boundaries
• Agree to limit work discussions outside of the office to avoid undermining formal decision-making processes.
• Consider working from separate locations or maintaining distinct areas of responsibility within the company to reduce overlap and tension.
4. Seek Third-Party Input
• Involve non-family advisors or team members in critical decisions to ensure a balanced perspective.
• Establish an advisory board or bring in experienced executives to provide an impartial voice in strategic discussions.
5. Foster Team Inclusion
• Make it clear to the team that their input is valued and will be taken into account in decision-making.
• Schedule regular check-ins with employees to gather feedback and address concerns about transparency or leadership.
Closing Thoughts
Founding with family is fraught with unique challenges that can undermine trust, create inefficiencies, and erode company culture. The example of the husband-and-wife founders who inadvertently caused confusion by revising plans over the weekend is a cautionary tale for all family co-founders. While it’s possible to succeed as a family-founded team, it requires a conscious effort to set boundaries, establish transparent decision-making processes, and prioritize the trust and engagement of the broader team.
Ultimately, the key to overcoming these challenges is recognizing that a startup is not a family—it’s a business. Decisions must be made with the organization’s best interests in mind, and those decisions must be communicated and implemented in a way that builds trust and clarity for everyone involved.